Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Hello big, wide, vast . . . scary internet


I’ve been told for the last several years, if I ever want to go anywhere or be someone, I have to have an internet presence. I have an e-mail, isn’t that good enough? Apparently not. I have been fighting this for a while. Several years ago, I had a friend help me set up the very beginnings of this blog (hence the extremely outdated family picture at the top, thus I have included this new one, thanks to my dear sister,) but haven’t done anything since. Now that I have a fast internet connection, (well, not dial up) I do not have an excuse any more. Thus here I am you big, wide, crazy . . . scary internet.

I think part of my “problem” is that I do not even know what to include on here. Is anyone even really interested in anything I have to say? And yet there is so much I would love to be able to share, but have not as yet been able to very well.

I am a health nut. I used to think those “health nut” people were crazy and they should live a little. But after having 2 children come down with autism and then being diagnosed myself with congestive heart failure (CHF) at age 27, it kind of was forced upon me until I am now probably too far the other way. There has to be a happy medium. But my two sons are now recovering and making huge progress, and my congestive heart failure . . . I barely feel it, unless I get under a lot of stress or don’t eat right. I see how eating can effect every aspect of your life. It’s nuts. It’s not fair. How come so many people can eat whatever they want and all I have to do is have one chocolate bar and I’m done for . . . for the next several hours. And trying to keep sugar out of my children’s diets while they attend school is nearly impossible. I have had to come to accept this fact. The other day, I was washing cloths, something I do quite often with 5 kids, and when I pulled a batch of cloths out of the drier, there was melted taffy covering many of the cloths. I still haven’t gotten anyone to confess who hid their candy in their pockets so that I wouldn’t see it. It happens a lot.

I love singing, writing music, children’s books, creating, gardening, and so many other things. . Several years ago I went to a BYU Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers Conference. I loved it. I learned a lot. I improved my skills, but found out how truly impossible it is to get into that market. So I published my own books on a website, www.mamabearproductions.com. Last year I went to a music competition truly thinking this was my ticket to getting out there. I thought my song was going to blow them out of the water. But in turn, I found out I stunk. Well not that bad, but I definitely had room to improve. I swore I would never go back . . . Never. Knock on wood. Whatever you have to do, don’t say never. I ended up going again this year. . . . And I am so glad I did. I learned so much more. I felt inspired instead of beaten. I walked away feeling like I could actually do this, . . . I just needed an internet presence. I have written 3 songs this month alone. That is an all time record!!!

My garden . . . it stinks this year. I have barely gotten anything out of it. Probably because I haven’t put as much into it. Like I always say, next year . . . I’ll do so much better.

I am religious. I don’t know where I would be without the gospel. It lights every day of my life. I have a burning testimony. I have learned so much in the last few years and I am so incredibly grateful for the parents who raised me so well and taught me the gospel in word and deed. I love my family, the one a came from and the one I have now.

Well, to all who have taken this time to read my blog, thank you. Be patient with me as I try to attempt to learn the ropes. I think it will be a great experience. I hope.